Welcome to my blog. My name’s Maria. I’m an attractive 39 year old woman – or so I think (LOL!) –  but for 20 or more years of my life I was afraid of sex. Every time my boyfriend and I wanted to make love, my anxiety would go sky high, I’d clench up (maybe you know what I mean), and sex would be painful or even impossible. Certainly there wasn’t much enjoyment in it. We’d resort to pleasuring each other orally or manually.

(To find out what I did about this, but only if you want to skip the rest of my post (!) check out one possible answer right here: Change That’s Right Now! .)

Now if you’re a woman, like me, and you’re frightened of sexual penetration, or it’s not a pleasant experience, I’d say you’re missing out on one of the greatest pleasures of human existence. That loving intimate connection with another person. WOW!

And of course the only reason I know this is because I now enjoy making love with my man devoid of any fear of sex whatsoever. It’s opened my heart to my boyfriend, it’s opened my heart up to other people, and it’s made me see the world completely differently. For one thing, there’s a lot of joy in my life…and that’s down to my orgasmic sex life! Honestly, it’s made that much difference.

I know not everybody’s going to have the same issues that I did, but for those of us who get anxiety around sexual issues, it can seem depressing and overwhelming (Will I ever be normal? Will I ever have sex? Will I ever have a relationship?) with many problems to face.

And the reason I’m writing this blog is because I want to help you get a great sex life, by introducing you to the things that helped me know the beauty and joy of love, of a fantastic love life…… and really, from my own experience, I’d have to say you just don’t know what that’s like until you’ve got it! It’s really, really worth having.

So I think that whether you’re in a relationship or not, or you’d like to be, or if you can have sex but it’s not enjoyable, or you have sex but you never reach orgasm, there’s an answer to all of these problems. (Hint – you can get it here – Change That’s Right Now! )

I know it can be very very easy indeed to just ignore things like this, carry on in the same old way, and hope that somehow everything will be all right in a day or a week or a month or a year. But life isn’t like that, or at least it wasn’t for me! I believe you really have to go out there and fight for what you want, or at the very least you have to try and get what you want – and the first step is deciding to do something.

Are you ready to make a choice about having a good sex life? To get rid of your fear of sex or anxiety around relationships, and stop being afraid of sexual intercourse and making love? If your answer is “yes”, and even if it ain’t, then I’d like to introduce you to a few things that helped me.

I don’t know exactly what your problem is, so I’m going to show you everything that helped me and I want you to have a look at it and decide if it might help you. And all these things offer a money-back guarantee if they don’t help you…….

I’m an attractive woman – I’ve finally learned to believe that LOL! – but for a lot of my life I thought my body wasn’t too pleasant and I thought my vagina & vulva were really, well, if not exactly repulsive, certainly not very appealing. I never realised how much this was contributing to my fear of sex, my worries about simply being seen naked by my sexual partner….And you know what? I’ve worked on this in many different ways, both by using the programs below, and with the help of my boyfriend.

As a result, I’ve come to love my body in the same way that he loves it – and boy, does he love it! He can’t keep his hands off me, which is very flattering! So here’s the first thing I can recommend to you – it’s a self help program (God, how I hate the word “self-help”, but think of it this way: it just shows your determination to change things). It’s called How To Be Orgasmic, and yeah, I know that you might already be having orgasms, and that’s fantastic if you are, but the real reason I’m introducing this program to you is because it’s a fabulous, fabulous way of getting to like your own body, of really coming to appreciate it. Well, it certainly showed me how to love my body!

You don’t need a partner to help you with this program, you can do it at your own pace and time. It’s very creative and gentle, very heart opening – the advice and actions it suggests will help you love yourself emotionally, as well as loving your body. Here you go: How To Be Orgasmic.

But I discovered that even after I’d really changed my attitude to my body, I was still tensing up and getting frightened for some reason when we wanted to make love – and I had no idea why. Since I wrote this blog I’ve met lots of women in the same situation: it seems to be very common that women don’t  actually enjoy sex, but go along with men for the sake of pleasing them. And I didn’t want to do that any more (nice though it can be!). NO, I WANTED GREAT SEX FOR MYSELF!!!!

So I decided I was really going to get to grips with my fear of sex. And the way I did this was to buy into another self-help (yucky term!) program from a company called Change That’s Right Now (funny pun, yeah?)

You know what? I thought that exploring the reasons why sex was problem for me would mean I needed to go right back into my past and delve down into the depths of my childhood experiences. Urggh, no thank you……but, no, I was really excited to discover that in fact I didn’t need to do any of that stuff, I could use some techniques that seem to be entirely focused on changing the future. No reason it won’t work for you too!

So here’s the low-down: you can get a positive mental attitude and totally reprogram your mental attitude to sex, and how you feel about it, by using new NLP techniques and something called timeline therapy. I’m still not completely sure what these are, but I highly recommend them because I believe they will remove your fear of sex – like they did for me!

This is a brilliant approach for both men and women, by the way!

Even so, I’ve got another suggestion which I know might suit some people better – maybe people who need more “direct” instruction…it’s self-hypnosis therapy. There’s a woman called Victoria Gallagher who has a fantastic range of self-hypnosis programs on CDs & MP3 available to download. I recommend you just go over there and have a look at her website, which is full of good stuff about getting great sex (and a lot more besides).

And finally if you’re a woman and you want to know how to make it much easier to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse or sexual play with your boyfriend or partner, then this is the place to go: Easy Female Orgasm. 

I said above that I think a lot of women have sex just to please their men, but that’s ridiculous! Sex is meant to be a fun, joyous experience for both people, and if you’re not having orgasms whilst you’re making love then it’s well worth finding out how you can do it. As far as I’m aware this is the best program on the Internet for helping you achieve orgasm during sex: Easy Female Orgasm. 

I’m not quite coming every time we make love but my God, I’m coming so often it makes sex something I really enjoy nowadays!

Finally, if you’re a man, here’s some ideas that might help you get better sex. If you want to help your female partner have an orgasm during intercourse, or if you’re baffled about how to give her an orgasm, then maybe you just need a bit more technique. I know one of the reasons I was afraid of sex was that so many men just wanted to get into me and thrust away till they reached orgasm.… and while I love men, and I love being with them, sometimes it would be nice if they could just refine their sexual technique so as to please a woman more!

Read all about it! How To Give A Woman An Orgasm!

So here, just for you men,  or you women who want to get better sex (show it to him, gal!!) is the key to everything you need to know about pleasing a woman in bed……it’ll make her look at you with ”come to bed eyes”… if I can say that without offending the feminists among you! How To Give A Woman An Orgasm!

Anyway, look, whatever you decide to do, whether you get these self- help doodahs or not – and they all helped me one way or another – I really, really wish you the best possible fortune in overcoming fear of sex.

A joyous sexual relationship is a human birthright and if you aren’t enjoying one, then please please please go out and do the stuff you gotta do to get one. 

With luck, love, kisses and hugs,

Maria xxx

A friend in need (and a friend indeed, even if I do say so myself). And so is this wonderful resource: Change That’s Right Now!

If you have anxiety about sex, fear making love, can’t manage intimate relationships, or feel uneasy or afraid of intimacy, then I guess you’ll be interested in discovering how to control this fear.

Partly through personal experience, partly because I use it in my work as a sex therapist, I discovered this interesting and very effective self-help system for ending fear of sex. It’s a well-proven, simple, and powerful system which uses NLP and TimeLine therapy, and you can find it here: Change That’s Right Now! Just a few short weeks from now, you could be enjoying a full emotionally and physically intimate relationship – with all the rewards and joy that has to offer!

Why do I recommend Change That’s Right Now? Well, first and foremost, the people there know what they’re doing. They are all clinical psychologists and board-certified, so you know you’re in good hands. These psychologists have years of experience in treating clients with all kinds of anxiety and phobias, ranging from fear of public speaking through fear of flying all the way to fear of sex.

It’s most likely that the fear of sex or sexual intercourse, or fear of any sexual interaction, has its roots in some traumatic events earlier in life. Traditional therapy would have you digging right down deep into your history to pull these out, look at them, and hopefully heal them. The great news is that there are modern therapies that don’t require you to do this – you can re-write your own history without pulling out and looking every little detail! That’s great news on two fronts: first, it’s a lot quicker. And when I say quicker, I really do mean quicker – you could be talking hours to completely dispel your fear rather than months or years of therapy. Second, it’s simple! And that means it’s cheap, effective, and it really works.

Make no mistake about it: we’re talking life changing therapy here. There’s nothing more fundamental to the enjoyment of life than being in a relationship with another person and enjoying every aspect of that relationship – emotional, physical, and spiritual. If you can’t enjoy sex, you’re being deprived of one of the great joys of human life. It’s only fair that you should have the freedom to enjoy a fantastic sexual relationship just like everybody else. Click here now to do just that.

Now, I’ve spent years working with men and women who have sexual problems of one kind or another so I know a lot about this problem. And I’ve achieved some fantastic results through counselling and therapy with people who have a fear of sexual intercourse, or a fear of sex in general. But all the time I was doing this I had a snese of frustration that there was something missing. And so there was! Speed of change, consistent outcomes, and above all long-lasting results that really changed people’s lives for ever. 

It’s entirely due to the new techniques of Timeline therapy and NLP that such rapid changes possible, so easily. What’s even better is that Change That’s Right Now offer you so many different options to change your life for the better. You can take advantage of their self-help program for fear of sex, or you can use a one-to-one coaching system that produces even faster results at a fantastic rate.

Whatever you do you deserve it yourself right now to overcome your fear of sex. I believe this is the best chance you have now, or you’re ever likely to have, to do exactly that. Give yourself the chance to enjoy sex to the fall with complete confidence and enjoyment. Just click here now to find out how simple it can be to overcome your fear of sex!

Can you relate to these remarks, made to me by two women I met on a support group online for women with fear of sex?

A woman, who was 33 years old, said: “I’ve never had a successful relationship, and it almost breaks my heart when I look around me and see everybody else in a relationship…. I usually start fantasising about what sort of sex they’re having, how much they’re enjoying it, and how much pleasure they give each other. I’ve never had been to bed with a man, and I don’t think I ever will.”

And a man, aged 37, told me: “I’ve never had a sexual relationship with a woman. Somehow the right one has never come along. In fact, women see me as a good friend, but they never want a sexual relationship with me. I can’t imagine ever having sex with a woman. I’ve had some sexual relationships with men, though. At least I can trust a man.”

It tugged at my heart to hear them say this. I think we all long for human connection, but for a lot of people it somehow never seems to work out. Maybe you feel that way – after all, you’ve reached a website intended for people who are anxious about sex. And that includes sex in general, as well as sexual intercourse specifically.

So if you’re in the same position, that is, if you’re avoiding sex, or somehow it’s never happened for you, or you’re in a relationship and you’re anxious about sex – whether it has or hasn’t happened yet – I want you to know one thing. You can overcome fear of sex. To cut right to the chase, to get hold of the revolutionary new system that can do this for you, click here. Or, if you’d like to know more, please read on.

First of all, congratulations for taking the first step on the road to a happy relationship. Simply by doing some research on the Internet, you’ve demonstrated your intention to overcome this challenge. Even so, you may be wondering “Why me?” or “What can I do about this?” The fact is, there are many reasons why women and men are anxious about sex, or reach an age when most people have had sex and they’re still inexperienced. So in other words, fear of sex or sexual anxiety are just blanket terms which cover many different issues. Let’s look at some of these.

Many women have a challenge with sex because, regrettably, they experienced some kind of sexual abuse at some point in their life. Whether they’re aware of it or not, the memory of that abuse and the emotional response to it is strong enough to give them an aversion to sex in later life. Now, I don’t want you to think that I’m suggesting that all women who find sex difficult, or who have difficulty forming an intimate relationship, have been abused. Some have, some haven’t. But even when abuse is physical or emotional rather than sexual, it can still diminish a person’s trust so much that they simply can’t open themselves up in the way that’s needed to have a relationship.

Other women find that sex is painful. A lot of women have pain when they try intercourse for the first time, and the memory of that uncomfortable experience can stay with them and produce a fear of sex in the future. I know, from the deep work I’ve done with my clients, that your first experience of sex – for both women and men – can really influence how you feel about sex later on, and it’s a major factor for people who feel a fear of sex. (If you’ve read enough, just click here to check out the treatment program.)

For men, who are often cast in the role of the pursuer, the wooer, the one has to win the woman, lack of self-confidence can be such a barrier to getting together with someone that it just never happens. And fear of sex can develop because the first sexual experience a man has is a disaster: he might come prematurely, he might not be able to get an erection, he might be humiliated in some way… the possibilities are endless, but they all lead to the same thing – fear of sex. Then again, for men who aren’t clear about their sexual orientation, fear of being gay can be a big barrier to exploring sex.

And the same comments about abuse and fear of sex that I said above about women are true for men too. Whoever you are, you have to be able to trust another person enough before you can have an enjoyable and comfortable relationship – sexual or not – with them.

The problem is, if you can’t trust enough to be intimate, then you may well feel anxiety around sex, fear of sexual intercourse, fear of intimacy, or have a fear of being alone.

I’m assuming that you want a relationship, and you might even want to explore sex, because you’re here on a website that’s designed for people who have some fear of sex! And yes, it is an exciting prospect, isn’t it? You hear people talk about sex so much, you see sexualised images all over the place in magazines, on TV, in the cinema… And the way people talk about it, and perhaps even the fact that you think about it so much, must mean there’s something here worth exploring!

And the fact is - you’re right. Sex can be fantastic. At its best, sex is the best human experience possible. Shared with another human being who likes you and loves you, sex can be sublime. That’s why I would like you to be able to enjoy it – I’ve seen the happiness it can bring people, over and over again, in my work as a sex therapist.

So what I’d like to do here is explore with you how you might overcome your fear of sex.

The first thing I want to tell you is that there’s no need to dig into your past. You might have an idea of traditional therapy, the “talking cure”, as something that requires you to spend months, if not years, digging down deep into your past to pull out and examine every little thing that ever happened to you that might have caused your fear of sex. Guess what? The exciting, the fantastic, the most wonderful news, is that you don’t even need to do that.

There’s a completely different approach to this kind of problem: something called neurolinguistic programming, or NLP for short, and a revolutionary new therapy called Time-line Therapy. Used together, they allow you to rewrite the memories & “programming” of the past, and design and live out a much more harmonious, balanced, and beautiful future for yourself. Now imagine that! You don’t have to look at your history. You don’t need to work out who did what to who, and why. You can just plan and imprint a completely new set of beliefs and feelings around sex in your mind, like a blueprint for a totally different sexual life, one that brings you all you desire…….WOW! Wouldn’t that be something worth trying out? You can find all the details and decide if this revolutionary therapy is right for you by clicking here – CHANGE THAT’S RIGHT NOW!

Maria

xx

About Sexual Aversion, Sexual Phobia and Fear of Sex

A significant number of people experience intense fear or anxiety — and perhaps even panic — at the prospect of sexual interaction of any kind. Some feel anxiety or disgust when asked to engage in a specific sexual activity, perhaps sexual intercourse or masturbation. This is called genophobia…..not that the word matters. The issue is how to cure the condition; it’s a heavy burden to bear when kissing and all other similar activity - let alone sex - produces revulsion, fear, shame, guilt or anxiety.

If a man or woman was abused, raped or otherwise sexually traumatized, shame, guilt, fear or disgust is understandable. But the problem is a person may now want a normal, healthy sexual relationship with a person they care about. Anxiety around sex and a simultaneous desire to be close to a loved one is frustrating and difficult.

Some people with a fear of sex, by contrast, have no history of sexual or abusive trauma, but they may possibly have picked up some negative sexual attitudes, either in childhood or from some other repressive environment, producing anxiety and fear of sex in later life. These fears may stop them having a healthy sexual relationship.

<h2>Diagnosis and Treatment of Sexual Aversion, Sexual Phobia and Fear</h2>

If a man or woman avoids genital sexual contact with his or her friend or partner because of disgust, fear, shame, anxiety or panic attacks, faintness, breathing difficulties, or a sense of terror, the diagnosis of fear of sex is not hard to make.

To deal with this, an individual approach is needed, but sexual therapy of some kind will lmost certainly be required. The options for treating fear of sex range from classic psychotherapy to newer techniques such as EFT and NLP time line therapy. These latter options can work faster and more effectively than traditional therapy, because they avoid digging into a person’s sexual history while neutralizing the toxic effects of the original sexual trauma. 

Whatever the therapy, people should be allowed to move at their own pace, taking as much time as they require to become comfortable with sexual situations and ideas.

To be honest, there is simply no reason why fear of sex, sexual intercourse, or sexual contact (also known as coitophobia) should continue to stop you exploring the glorious birthright of your human sexuality. I know that may be hard to accept right now, but believe me – there is such immense pleasure to be had from sexual intimacy that you owe it to yourself to seek out this pleasure and own it as part of you.

And of course it doesn’t have to be all done at once – small steps can lead to big, big results over time. But if you never start, if you go on doing the things you’re doing, then you’ll never change your fears. So my suggestion to you is that you sign up with this amazing program which is an online program for reducing fear around anxiety of sex, with the option of taking one-to-one coaching and help from an expert in the field. I can tell you that dozens of my clients have taken this program, and it helped them all. Some of them transformed their lives out of all recognition. Check it out here:

How To Overcome Your Fear Of Sex and Live A Full Life

Genophobia is the fear of sexual intercourse. The word is derived from the Greek words genos, meaning “offspring,” and phobos, meaning “fear.”

Genophobia can also be called coitophobia: fear of the act of copulation. The term erotophobia – although rare – may also be used when describing genophobia. 

Genophobia, the fear of sex, is like every other intense fear or phobia in that it may induce panic and fear in men or women. And this fear may be induced by both the reality of sexual contact and the prospect of it – and even by the mere thought of it.

Obviously, people who suffer from this particular phobia will be unlikely to attempt sexual contact, which will probably prevent any kind of romantic relationships. Indeed, men and women who suffer fear of sex are likely to avoid any involvement relationships so that they can avoid the possibility of sexual intimacy. Genophobic men and women  people may also feel lonely, and embarrassed or ashamed of their fears around physical or psychological intimacy. 

There are many different reasons why men and women develop a fear of sex. A major cause is sexual assault or abuse, since a  victim’s trust may be shattered and his or her right to self-determination has been disrupted. Another cause of fear around sex is intense shame engendered by medical conditions. And some people have this fear without any diagnosable reason.

Symptoms of a fear of sex include panic, terror, and dread. Physically, symptoms include rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling, anxiety, perspiration and avoidance behavior.

There is no single cure for genophobia. Conventional methods of treating anxiety can be helpful, as can seeing a psychologist, therapist or counselor. If the fear of sex results from pain during intercourse, a visit to the doctor or gynecologist will be helpful. 

As an aside, it’s worth noting that the word genophobic is sometimes used to label sexually repressed societies.

Fear Of Sex

Treatments and advice to help you overcome your Fear Of Sex.

What Is Fear Of Sex?

Fear of sex, or more specifically, sexual intercourse, is called Genophobia. When someone feels a significant aversion to sexual contact of any kind, it will obviously masively affect their relationships and life. Fear of sex has perhaps the biggest impact on a person’s self-confidence.

Reasons For Genophobia

There are a whole range of reasons why men and women become phobic – experience intense anxiety – about sexual activity. For example, men who have premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction may be shamed or embarrassed during intimacy. Other men may struggle with delayed ejaculation (inability to reach orgasm) or be unable to maintain an erection due to age or certain health issues. And although Viagra and its generic copies may allow men to get erect, they do not always work. However, problems such as premature ejaculation can be treated.

For women, sexual phobia – fear of sex – may develop because intercourse is painful. Dyspareunia, pain on attempting intercourse, makes lovemaking very  painful, so much so that women would rather avoid intercourse. Some women may experience pronounced loss of libido due to hormone fluctuations resulting from menopause, pregnancy, or periods. All these factors influence how a woman views sexual intercourse.

Frigidity: Myth Or Fact?

The whole idea of a “frigid woman” is  a myth. But loss of libido is common, for many reasons, and is not exclusive to women: men also suffer from a lack of sex drive. However, what looks like a fear of sex, can often be caused by other aspects of a relationship and is merely disinterest in sex.

For women, lack of interest in sex can be a symptom of lack of intimacy and poor communication with a partner, or a lack of romance, or depression caused by adverse life situations and relationships. As mentioned before, women experience hormone fluctuations which cause loss of libido and fear of sex during pregnancy and the menopause.

Men say they have a low sex drive or a fear of sex when they suffer erectile dysfunction, or high levels of stress caused by work or a challenging  relationship.

Generally speaking, “frigidity” means  a person is with the wrong partner, and their passion is still waiting to be released: sex drive is instinctive to us all,  and in the right time and place, with the right person, loss of libido and “frigidity” can disappear.

Other Triggers For Genophobia

Sexual abuse can cause Genophobia. People who have suffered abuse avoid sexual intimacy, because it reminds them of their abuse. Fear of sex is normal in such situations, and during sex, trust is key. When there is fear of sex, fear of intimacy, not trust, phobias may begin.

Religion and cultural issues can also cause fear of sex: if the concept of chastity and purity is important in a family,  it can be quite inhibiting to the healthy expression of a person’s sexuality.

The Threat Of Unwanted Pregnancy Or STD’s Can Also Be A Trigger

Today, STI’s and HIV can be frightening. Despite safe sex, things can go wrong and people can be at risk. As well, unwanted pregnancy can be a threat that inhibits people from engaging in sexual activity. While some fear of diseases and pregnancy is healthy, it should not cause Genophobia. When it does, other psychological issues may be at play.

Symptoms of Fear of Sex

People with a fear of sex feel tense, sick, and frightened when sexual activity may occur or is seen nearby. They tend to avoid films or television programs that feature sexual content. As well, they may suffer from nausea, dizziness, and strange feelings when sex is seen, discussed or occurring nearby.

Treatment

Psychotherapy is effective for the fear of sex and will help a person overcome the phobia. Anti-depressants may be required to ease anxiety.